apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
