All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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