Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
