We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
