I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize