Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
