So drunk, too bad you don't want this
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
