Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
