I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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