Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
