nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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