I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
