Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
