haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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