I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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