If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
