if i can run in heels then i can drive
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
