Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm way too hungover for life right now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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