Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
