so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
