Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
