he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
