Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
