i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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