4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
