Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
