just come out here and I will go home with you...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
