i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
