Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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