You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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