Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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