Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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