Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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