dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
