I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
