is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There's always time for handjobs
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
