If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
