6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
