So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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