How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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