Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
