After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
