adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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