Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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