Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
