im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
