But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
