Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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