; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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