he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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